Joy

I’ve been breastfeeding for 5 years and 8 months.

Nursing is hard. It’s dedication. It’s like writing a book – one word at a time – but with your body – one drop at a time.

I know prolonged nursing is taboo for a lot of people. I used to think it was weird. But here I am. Just letting it sink in tonight, knowing I’m almost done with this part of my life (Claire is almost weaned).

But this journey…it’s like a lot of things in life: something big that is made of single moments stacked together.

Something I fought for.

I remember crying on the phone while giving Nathan formula, my friend talking me through nursing. I remember 6 weeks being a magical far off number. Then when 1 year was the goal 2 years was the hope.

Then I was pregnant with my second, and I wanted to last as long as I could, and I nursed right into the beginning of labor.

I remember the precious few months of tandem nursing. The severe anxiety attacks that came with Nathan needing to wean (tandem was not working). The guilt and pain as I forced him off, but let Claire stay.

And now…the last few times, never knowing if it’s our last time, if when she falls asleep she’ll wake up fully weaned, knowing Claire is our last baby.

But I couldn’t be more proud of myself for getting here…for my body being able to do this. It’s a reminder that our greatest triumphs are earned in moments. When someone says they did an amazing thing they did it one step at a time.

Like a book, our victories don’t write themselves.

The hardest part is to remember that when you set sail on a journey, it rarely takes you exactly where you expect. Persistence, dedication, grit, the courage to do something others won’t…that’s what gets you there.

Believe in yourself. Be convicted in your dreams.

Most of all, remember, the best part of being able to say you did something incredible isn’t about what you ended up with, it’s how you ended up there. It’s the pain, the struggles, the achievements. It’s overcoming things and feeling joy in what you have done.

It isn’t the destination at all. The destination is where you ended up. The real prize is the story.