Writing

On Passion

June 11, 2019 /

So you’ve found passion. Why don’t you feel amazing all the time? Why is it hard? Now what?

(if you just want the highlights, scroll to the list at the end)

Passion is impatient. It’s relentless, and it’s angry, and it’s excited.

Passion is 6 am and my mind is awake, and 12am and my mind won’t shut down. It’s knowing every hour as 0900, 9AM, 12PM at Krissy’s or 1600, 4PM, 7PM. Automatic.

It’s sore hands and a mental exhaustion like you can’t imagine.

Passion is amazing. I am so blessed to have passion. I am grateful. I am thankful. I begged myself to find passion for years. I would never give passion up.

But when it come to being an indie author and a business owner, passion can be a challenge. How do you overcome how relentless it is? How can you be patient when you just want to GO.

I read something recently, about Louis Tomlinson and smoking. How it helps him stay ready to go. I get that so much. It’s been running through my mind, and I don’t know if I feel it the same way, but I do feel it: I’m the engine to my passion.

It’s the flame, but I can’t let that flame die.

I have to always be on. Always ready.

It’s hard to be ready to go all the time, without knowing when you’re going to need that push. There are fast days and slow days and there are days when you just can’t no matter how hard you try.

Examples? There are days when I can’t be creative because I have to edit, or do a cover, or be more present for my family and house. I have days when Krissy or I am too busy for our 3 hours of morning work…I get shaky and angsty and jittery.

I LOVE IT.

This is passion – the other side – just real. It can suck, but it’s amazing. It’s better than wondering who I am, or where I’m going, or what I’m going to do with my life.

So, I’ve been in a whirlwind romance with passion for four years, and some days it’s exhausting. I don’t smoke, personally, but I’ve found my own vices. My own things to give me a boost when I need to be on and I’ve lost the on switch. I’ve found my own ways to get myself going to 100% within five minutes of opening my eyes. But some days, they don’t work.

When you find passion, love it. Embrace it, foster it. But when you find exhaustion, reach out and remind yourself that you’re not alone. You’re living a different life, but you’re going to be okay. You’re going to be better than okay – because you’re going to be more you every day.

Most successful people say the key to success is to not give up. Stay there long enough, keep learning, keep sharpening your skills, and it will deliver. Marrying passion with never giving up is actually a tricky thing, because passion is wild and discipline is order.

I’ve found the best way to keep going is to promise passion that you’re fighting for it, even if fighting for it looks like giving up for a few minutes. Everyone has to take care of themselves. Make sure your inner voice believes you’re coming back.

So you’ve found passion…and it’s not perfect…now what?

  • OWN YOUR TEETER TOTTER – It’s not about perfect balance. Let your passion run wild as much as possible, but make sure you do other things to. Things that help your passion meet whatever your goals are (income, maybe?). Things that help your personal life – nights out, family, cleaning, whatever it is. Strive for functional chaos.
  • EMBRACE DESPERATE – When you’re desperate, you become resourceful. That is POWERFUL.
  • Believe in You – Passion can ask insane and grandiose things of you, and rising to those is hard. Believe you can rise.
  • LET GO OF FEAR OF FAILURE – Failure is learning. Passion doesn’t care if you fail. It can get wounded, though, but that’s human. Passion…it just has to exist. Once you let it, once you tell it go. Run. I’m with you, failure is just a thing that happens, not something that stops or cripples you.
  • SOCIALIZE – Even if you’re an introvert. Break open your shell for at least one other person – a friend – who you can lean on. Who you can talk to when you feel like you’re failing. Your journey is going to be a struggle, because you’re growing and changing. There are days when I think my brain might just melt out my ears and if you ask me to come up with one more new idea I’m going to (at least want to) cry and (more likely than not) tell you no I can’t do it. I can’t do anything. I give up. It’s okay to stop for a little but…
  • KEEP GOING. Never quit.
  • NEVER LET YOURSELF BELIEVE YOU ARE ALONE – even if you are lonely. There is someone out there who feels as strongly as you do. There is someone, somewhere, who feels just like you do – now or in the past or in the future – welcome to the club. You’re pretty awesome for making it here.

This journey is hard, but hard work is worth it. Struggle is worth it. I can never turn away from, or regret, being myself – passionately.